GRIEF AND LOSS
The human heart is remarkably fragile. A broken heart can lead to a site of weakness that leaves the individual wounded, scared, and often completely despondent. The grief and loss experienced in the aftermath of a breakup or death can be a seemingly insurmountable obstacle. The emotional devastation felt can last for months and even years, with memories that may haunt you for years. It’s natural to feel sadness and loneliness, but these emotions should not dominate one’s life.
You can take steps to help move on. Everyone is different. Some individuals may be able to move on quickly, while others may need more time. The key is accepting yourself and your needs during this process. Here we will discuss loss and grief and how to cope with these feelings.
Symptoms of Grief and Loss
The journey is different for everyone, but there are some everyday experiences that most people have. The process typically includes shock and disbelief, anger and resentment, depression, yearning, and searching for meaning in the loss. Individuals may also feel guilt or self-blame over the circumstances of the death. The earliest stages of loss can be challenging. The person is likely to experience intense physical and emotional pain.
Other symptoms include difficulty sleeping, change in eating or drinking habits, change in habits and routines, excessive crying, and persistent sadness. If the condition is severe enough, the person may experience post-traumatic stress. The individual may relive the loss and feel like it’s still happening. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms include nightmares, flashbacks, emotional numbing, avoidance of people or places that are reminders of the loss, and hypervigilance or exaggerated startle response.
Causes
Grief and loss are unavoidable events in our lives. They can be caused by a myriad of factors, such as the death of a loved one, divorce, or a breakup. A person may feel unfulfilled and discouraged by the end of a relationship. At times, friendships end abruptly and unexpectedly. Grief and loss are also caused by losing essential things, such as a job, home, or other material objects.
Death is an incredibly challenging loss to deal with. The death of a loved one is often the toughest loss to accept and cope with. The death of a spouse, child, or close family member usually leaves the bereaved feeling great sadness and longing. The survivor might feel they were to blame if the death was violent. This can lead to guilt, depression, and anger.
How it Manifests Emotionally and Behaviorally
Grief and loss can be expressed in several different ways. Kids may exhibit hyperactive, agitated behaviors that express how they feel. They may express temper tantrums to communicate their anger and frustration. Some children may withdraw from people and activities that were once pleasurable. They may talk about the person who died and how much they miss them. The child may also ask for the person constantly with a look of longing.
Teens may exhibit avoidance of friends, parties, and school. They may want to go out and have fun but find it difficult because their thoughts are consumed with memories of their lost friend or lover. Some may show depression, weight gain or loss, excessive smoking or drinking, and high-risk sexual behaviors as they grow older.
Adults may express sorrow, depression, anxiety, and frustration. Their feelings may come out in the form of anger and resentment. Some adults may feel depressed for a long time with feelings that nothing will ever get better again. Many people experience anxiety about their future, especially if they feel like they lost a chance at something essential or experienced a loss that left them powerless.
How can it be Diagnosed?
Diagnosing grief and loss is not easy. No medical test can prove the existence of this type of pain. One way grief and loss can be diagnosed is by evaluating the person’s life before the loss occurred. By looking at the person’s life, one can determine whether they have experienced a lot of change with the death of someone close. If you notice changes in a person’s moods and behaviors over an extended period, it may be worthwhile to have them seen by a medical professional. They may require treatment if they cannot function normally at work, school, or home.
Treatment Modalities
Counseling, psychology, telepsychology, psychotherapy, behavioral therapies, or medications are some effective treatments for grief and loss.CBT is a form of psychology. The first step in treatment is often to identify whether the individual is grieving. Once a person has acknowledged that they are experiencing some type of loss, they can make an effort to try to grieve. A trained psychotherapist will begin by helping the individual to review the events that caused the loss. They will then help answer essential questions such as “How did I get here? What went wrong?” These steps are necessary to begin working on letting go of the loss and moving forward. The therapist will help identify the specific loss, evaluate the meaning of the loss, and how to take steps to move toward recovery. A CBT clinician can help you start therapy in Minneapolis.
Patients with PTSD can benefit significantly from Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. EMDR is a therapy designed to target the underlying causes of an individual’s symptoms and maladaptive beliefs. It helps the patient process and resolves their memories of trauma. Through eye movements or taps, patients can release the trauma they either experienced or witnessed. Talk to a trained psychotherapist to see if EMDR can help you.
Meditation helps individuals become more aware of their thoughts and feelings. A grieving person may be preoccupied with thoughts of their loss. These thoughts can get in the way of everyday life, as a hard-to-control feeling of sadness often accompanies them. Meditation allows the individual to move beyond these thoughts and experience freedom from grief and loss. Other techniques, such as yoga or tai chi, can also help individuals improve their mental health.
Some people find comfort in the presence of others. Practicing behavioral treatments with others who understand the experience is an excellent way to replace the loss. People who are grieving may benefit from support groups that meet regularly, where they can discuss how to cope with their loss. These groups may meet online in telepsychology sessions. They can find a common activity that provides them with an escape from their memories of their loved one’s passing.
Medication Treatment
If the patient is experiencing a depressed mood, the doctor may recommend anti-depressants. This medication increases the number of neurotransmitters in the brain, such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. This neurotransmission affects how we feel, which includes happiness and sadness. Some medications also help prevent flashbacks or nightmares.
Mood-elevating medicines such as fluoxetine, sertraline, and escitalopram are prescribed if the patient feels overly sad and withdrawn from others. Anti-anxiety medications such as alprazolam and lorazepam may be prescribed to a person experiencing anxiety and sleep disturbances. The doctor will evaluate the person on a case-by-case basis to determine whether medication is appropriate. Follow up with the physician to ensure the medicine is taken appropriately. Medications should always be combined with talk therapy to reach their full potential.
Coping With Grief and Loss
Grief is a long journey, especially when someone close is lost forever. Acceptance is key to grieving properly. Acceptance occurs when we know that there is nothing that we can do to bring back the person who has died or the relationship that was lost. It is hard for people to accept this, but it is a truth of life. One should be able to find a sense of peace in accepting their loss and moving forward. If one tries to hold on to the past, hoping to fix things, they will likely only worsen matters.
Deal with emotions in a healthy way. Avoid self-destructive behavior at all costs. It is OK to cry, yell, scream or laugh. It is also OK to do nothing. However, do not keep your feelings inside. If you are having trouble with your mental health, talk to a friend or family member who will listen to you and be supportive. Remain physically active with regular exercise and a healthy diet. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. These may provide temporary relief but have many adverse side effects that can worsen the situation. Find some activities or hobbies that keep you from being in the present. Read a book, listen to music or watch TV. These are great ways to replenish yourself and forget about your loss.
When trying to move on, it is OK to have days where you don’t feel like you made any progress. Fighting through these days will be worth it in the long run as you grow and learn from this experience. Use all your resources. Talk to someone, exercise, continue with activities that make you happy, volunteer, or give back in some way. You deserve to be happy and healthy again. If you need therapy in Minneapolis, visit us today to speak to a professional from Psychotherapy Partners,